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A board infront of a laundry shop had the following writing: "We do not tear your clothes with machines. We do it by hand"

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No Medical Leave
The boss asked a clerk working in his office,'Why didn't you take leave due to you this year?' 'Sir, 'replied the clerk, 'I needed some rest.'
Contributed by J.P.Singh Kaka,New Delhi

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Red-light Area
Which is the biggest red-light area in India?'
'Delhi.'
'Why?'
'Because one comes across a red light almost every five hundred yards in the city.'
Contributed by G.S. Bhatnagar,New Delhi

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No free Seating
On a hopping flight from Madras, Hyderabad, Delhi, when the plane stopped at Begumpet airport to offload passengers for Hyderabad, the airhostess welcoming new passengers announced, 'Free seating'. A passenger who came in at Hyderabad looked very agitated and protested: 'If I had known it was free seating from Hyderabad, I would not have paid so much money for my air tickets.'
Contributed by Subhash Lakhotia, New Delhi

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Auto- Rickshaw Wit
Seen behind a Haryanvi auto-rickshaw was the following couplet:
Voh aaye hamaaree qabr peh,
diyaa bujha kar chaley gaye,
Baaqi jo teyl tha deevey mein,
sar peh laga chaley gaye.
(She came to my grave and blew out the oil lamp placed on it; the oil that remained in the lamp, she smeared on her head and walked away.)
Contributed by S.K.Jindal, Sonipat

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Harmless Shooting
The most sought-after newspaper photographer's wife was used to her husband often returning home late with the excuse, 'I had to shoot a railway accident', or 'I had to shoot a football game.'
One day some unexpected visitors dropped by and asked how late her husband would. 'I don't know,' she replied, not intending to shock them. 'He has to shoot the Prime Minister today.'
Contributed by Reeten Ganguly,Tezpur

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No Remote Control
A Lady went to a T V shop to buy a set. The shop salesman, while recommending a particular set, emphasised the joys of remote control. It would naturally cost her more than the ordinary set, but it would be worth it just to relax in her armchair, flicking through a multichannelled set.
'Listen,Son,' the lady replied, 'I don't need a remote control. With six children, my chances of controlling my TV are already remote. I'll have the standard set, please.'
Contributed by Dr D.S. Mehra, New Delhi